1.
The medical center
where George H.W. Bush was treated for his neck injury has a children’s
hospital named after his wife.
*** So, of course he got
preferential treatment: TWO lollipops.
2.
In order to appeal to millennials,
La-Z-Boy is remodeling its furniture stores.
*** And their recliners now feature
charging stations, USB ports and integrated selfie cameras.
3.
Authorities believe the
blast on a Rhode Island beach that blew a woman five feet into the air might
have been due to methane from decaying seaweed *** or
the two Burrito Supremes that she had for lunch.
4.
Computer code writing
company Code.org is proud of its diversity efforts and says that now 43% of its
employees are female. ***
The other 57% declined the company’s offer of a free sex change.
5.
A nuclear agreement
with Iran has been reached after both sides agreed to some major compromises. ***
The U.S. will lift billions of dollars in trade sanctions and Iran
promised to “Like” our Facebook page.
6.
Tom Cruise is preparing
to film “Top Gun 2,” 30 years after the original. *** His
new fighter jet will be equipped with barrier-free entry, large-text
instrumentation and senior-friendly control knobs.
7.
Caitlyn Jenner received
the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPYs.
*** When told that she would be
getting the Ashe award, Caitlyn said, “That’s great, but aren’t my boobs nice,
too?”
8.
Mexican drug kingpin
Joaquin Guzman escaped from prison through an elaborate mile-long tunnel with
lighting, ventilation and motorized dirt removal. His nickname is “El Chapo.” ***
Now, don’t confuse him with the prisoner who is still trying to dig his
way out with a spoon. That would be “El Cheapo.”
9.
An anonymous benefactor
has offered a $1 million reward for a pair of ruby slippers worn by Judy
Garland in “The Wizard of Oz” which were stolen from a museum ten years ago. *** Previously,
museum officials had appealed to the thief to return the stolen goods by just clicking
the heels together three times.
10. Police are investigating a video showing Ariana Grande
licking a tray of donuts in a Los Angeles donut shop. *** Officers
O’Malley and Jackson said they just wanted to make sure she hadn’t touched any
of the ones that were glazed, jelly filled or had white icing with all those
little sprinkles on top.
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