News for Week Ending Friday, Mar 4, 2016

1.      Vatican protocol has been changed and the pope will now greet divorced presidents or prime ministers and their current wives at the same time, rather than have the wife wait in a separate area.  ***  Vatican officials had previously asked second wives to wait in the trophy room.

2.      In yesterday’s GOP presidential debate in Detroit, Donald Trump said he is now in favor of H1B visas because we need to bring in highly skilled people when the U.S. lacks sufficient talent for certain jobs.  ***  Like president.

3.      Blake Shelton, who split from Miranda Lambert, sent out a series of drunken tweets, went through rehab, took up with Gwen Stefani and just bought Ms. Stefani a pony, is launching his own liquor, Smithworks Vodka.  ***  I believe the product’s tag line is, “Smithworks…even when your brain doesn’t.”

4.      Donald Trump initially refused to disavow endorsement by David Duke, former leader of the KKK, and people were shocked that someone would even want to be associated with a person who was openly racist, hateful and contrary to so many American values.  ***  But, I’m sure Mr. Duke had his reasons.

5.      Wal-Mart is being sued because its “Grated Parmesan Cheese” reportedly contains up to 10% products derived from wood chips.  ***  Faced with this legal action, Wal-Mart has agreed to replace the term “Grated” with “Sawed and Sanded.”

6.      On this date in history:  Mar 4, 1997 – President Clinton bans federally funded human cloning research.   ***  The researchers had refused to make a clone of Monica.

7.      On this date in history:  Mar 2, 1923 – Time magazine debuts.  ***  Management can’t decide whether to go with “Man of the Year” or an annual “Swimsuit” issue.

8.      On this date in history:  Mar 2, 1950 – Silly Putty is invented.  ***  It’s a mystery to today’s kids, who keep looking for the “on” button. 

9.      On this date in history:  Mar 1, 1962 – The first K-Mart opens.  ***  It soon becomes apparent that consumers are not interested in a store that only sells items beginning with the letter “K.”

10.   On this date in history:  Feb 29, 1980 – In England, Michael Bracey is finally rescued after spending 59 hours and 55 minutes trapped in an elevator.  ***  Afterwards, he required extensive therapy to recover from nearly 60 hours of listening to Muzak.