News for Week Ending Friday, Dec 15, 2017

1.   An article published in the scientific journal “Joule” says that Greek yogurt could be used to power jet planes.  ***   So, you’ll know we might be gearing up for war if you see a lot of Air Force uniforms in the dairy aisle.

2.   In Alabama, defeated senate candidate Roy Moore is demanding a recount, and told his supporters, “God is always in control.”  ***  So, in the first tally of votes, God miscounted?

3.   According to a recent medical study reported on NBC, depression can begin much earlier than previously thought.  ***   In fact, it generally starts within 15 minutes of reading all your friends’ posts on Facebook.

4.   In an environment-friendly move, Anheuser-Busch plans to replace its delivery fleet with electric Tesla trucks because they don’t have any dirty, smelly emissions.  ***   Shucks, I kinda liked the Clydesdales.

5.   The mayor of Davenport, Florida was arrested for using the handicap parking permits of deceased people.  ***  She apologized for her illegal actions, and promised that from now on she’ll be sure to put the dead person in the passenger seat.

6.   On this date in history:  Dec 15, 1891 – James Naismith invents basketball in Canada.  ***  Of course, that was the Canadian version, which was played with a ball, a hoop and hockey sticks. 

7.   On this date in history:  Dec 14, 1987 – Chrysler pleads no contest to telling buyers that previously-driven vehicles were new.  ***  But at least that was progress—a few years earlier they couldn’t even convince customers that the new cars were new.

8.   On this date in history:  Dec 13, 1961 – Jimmy Dean's “Big Bad John” becomes country music's first million-dollar seller.  ***  Of course, it helped that every album came with a free pack of sausage.

9.   On this date in history:  Dec 12, 1946 – The United Nations accepts six city blocks in Manhattan as a gift from John D, Rockefeller Jr.   ***   Ah yes, who wouldn’t love a nice set of blocks for Christmas? 

10.  On this date in history:  Dec 11, 1936 – King Edward VIII abdicates the English throne to marry American divorcee Wallis Simpson, and the Duke of York becomes king.  ***  The new king’s first act was to declare this date “Wallis Simpson Appreciation Day.”