News for Week Ending Friday, Jun 8, 2018

1.   Although it was the British who burned down the White House in 1812, President Trump told Canada’s prime minister Justin Trudeau that the Canadians did it.  ***  Apparently Mr. Trump is confused between the country that actually burned down the White House versus all the ones that just want to.

2.   IHOP announced it is changing its name to IHOb, but has not yet announced what “b” stand for.  ***  It could be International House of bull$#@%, but then it might get confused with the White House.

3.   Earlier this week a contractor working at the White House was arrested on an outstanding warrant for attempted murder.  ***   However, President Trump says he plans to immediately issue a presidential pardon for the man in order to reverse a terrible injustice, provide hope for the oppressed and get the guy back to finish that bathroom remodeling job.

4.   Earlier this week a contractor working at the White House was arrested on an outstanding warrant for attempted murder.  ***  Officials became suspicious of the man after his work consistently came in on schedule and under budget.

5.   In an interview with GQ magazine, Brad Pitt revealed that after he split from Angelina Jolie he realized that his priorities in life had been all out of line.  ***    He said that once he had time to reflect, he realized that “Ocean’s Eleven” was much more important than any of the sequels.

6.   Recent statistics show the Japanese have the highest life expectancy in the world, while the U.S. only ranks 31^st.   ***   So, I guess the Japanese didn’t have to attack Pearl Harbor; they could have just waited.

7.   On this date in history:  Jun 8, 1889 – Cable cars begin service in Los Angeles.  ***  At that time in the history of Los Angeles, “ding-a-ling” referred to the bells on the cable cars, not the people riding them.

8.   On this date in history:  Jun 7, 1970 – The rock opera “Tommy” is performed by The Who at New York's Lincoln Center.  ***  Actually, the organizers made it a double bill event just so the MC could say, “The Who’s on first.” 

9.   On this date in history:  June 4, 1965 – Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones release "(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction," which received a lot of criticism due to its suggestive lyrics.   ***   The words suggested that Mr. Jagger had absolutely no respect for good grammar.