1. In an interview with “Men’s Health” magazine, Arnold
Schwarzenegger admitted there were several times when he “stepped over the line”
in his treatment of women. *** He said it probably wasn’t proper to hold maid
interviews in the bedroom.
2. McDonald’s announced it will be eliminating all
artificial ingredients in its hamburgers.
*** As a result, the Quarter
Pounder will now be the Eighth Pounder, the Big Mac will now be a Small Mac, and
the Cheeseburger will just be…the Burger.
3. Police in the UK recently freed a 58 year
old man who had been held captive for 40 years in a garden shed with only a
bed, a chair, a hot plate, a scrap of carpet and a TV.
*** How sad—it was just one beer
fridge short of a man cave.
4. The FDA has just revoked
its approval of seven food additives because of their adverse effects on
humans. *** In the interest of public safety, they
banned everything that was fed to the senate committee handling the Brett
Kavanaugh hearings.
5. In Hartland, Michigan, a high school cheerleader was
caught handing out marijuana-filled brownies in order to get voted prom queen. ***
In a related story, Brett Kavanaugh was sworn in as a Supreme Court
justice and he expressed his gratitude to President Trump, Betty Crocker and an
old prep school buddy known only as “Weed.”
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