Friday, June 12, 2020

News Humor for Week Ending Friday, Jun 12, 2020


1.   During a Zoom virtual meeting of town officials in Surfside, Florida, commissioner Eliana Salzhouer became furious after repeatedly being put on “mute” by mayor Charles Burket, and she angrily held up the middle fingers on both hands.  ***   Town residents watching the meeting online were shocked at what they were seeing and immediately demanded to know where she had had her nails done.

2.   Actress Kirsten Dunst and her family recently returned from New Zealand, and she described one bright spot in the subsequent quarantine involving her 2-year old son:  "Yesterday we let him be naked all day and he'd pee outside in the grass; he was so happy he could pee like a dog.”  ***  Gee, if that makes the kid happy, he’ll be ecstatic when he learns to spell and can write his name in the snow.

3.   North and South Korea have had a routine of calling each other twice a day to maintain lines of communication, but on Monday, for the first time in 21 months, they didn’t talk.  ***  Apparently Verizon cancelled their service after concluding that tensions between the two countries were so high that they no longer qualified for the Friends and Family Plan.   

4.   The pilot of a U.S. helicopter patrolling over Detroit contacted Windsor police to report someone aiming a laser beam at him from the Canadian side of the Detroit River, and the fleeing suspect was quickly located and apprehended.  ***  He forgot to turn off his laser and was cornered in a dark alley by a dozen cats.

5.   Governor Whitmer has announced that Michigan barbershops and hair salons can re-open on June 15th.   ***   State law enforcement agencies are now bracing for an anticipated increase in crimes as people no longer fear posing for a mug shot without a decent haircut.  

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