1.
Researchers at the
University of Texas say that video games may be a major reason for the recent
decline in violent crimes. *** Kids can’t figure out how to fire a weapon
that they can’t operate with their thumbs.
2.
The Vatican says it
wants to reduce the costs of nominating someone for sainthood, with legal fees
and other expenses now running close to a million dollars. *** I
think the problem is that they can’t find many saint candidates among the
one-percent.
3.
Investigators have
learned that when that Southwest Airlines flight landed at the wrong airport in
Missouri, there was a third person—a company dispatcher—sitting in the cockpit. ***
And that’s very disturbing, because it means there were THREE Southwest
employees who couldn’t find the right airport.
4.
In New York City,
drivers of horse-drawn carriages are fighting Mayor DeBlasio’s plan to ban the
carriage rides because they are allegedly detrimental to the welfare of the
horses. ***
But, in a compromise measure to keep the carriages rolling, the White House has agreed to cover the horses
under Obamacare.
5.
President Obama plans
to announce changes in the NSA’s spying program, including cutbacks in spying
on leaders who are friendly toward the United States. ***
You know, if there were any.
6.
Paula Abdul is suing
a tanning salon for injuries received when she underwent an infra-red treatment
that promised to burn off 1200 calories.
*** She is also suing them for a
previous treatment that left her extremely gullible.
7.
The long-time partner
of the French president was hospitalized for exhaustion after she found out the
president has been having an affair with another woman. ***
Hey, he’s the one trying to please two women—shouldn’t he be the one who’s
exhausted?
8.
Some Detroit students
were let out of school early one day last week because they had no heat. *** You
see, it wouldn’t be fair to have those kids walking around totally defenseless.
9.
Even though Colorado
has legalized marijuana, authorities may ban it at the Denver Airport. *** And
let me tell you, the pilots are furious.
10.
The newly merged Fiat-Chrysler
company is considering listing on the New York or Hong Kong stock exchanges,
and CEO Sergio Marchionne says, “We will go where the money is.” *** Hmmm…I believe the last auto executive to say
that was John DeLorean.
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