1.
People in Melbourne, Australia
were shocked when a hospital faxed 200 notices regarding patients who had been
discharged, but a clerical error had replaced the word “discharged” with “dead.” ***
Actually, the notices weren’t wrong—just early.
2.
A study published in
the Journal of Nutrition says that eating a lot of ramen noodles may increase
the risk of cardiovascular disease or stroke. ***
Which is unfortunate, since people on a diet of ramen noodles probably
can’t afford the hospital bills.
3.
Lindsay Lohan is preparing
for her stage debut in a London play, but in a newspaper interview she confessed
that she is nervous and afraid she’ll “mess up” opening night. *** Like
getting arrested in the morning.
4.
Russia has given
permission for NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden to stay there for an additional
three years. *** I
believe this is a humanitarian gesture. Based
on a recent photograph, it looks like it will take that long for his beard to
grow out.
5.
After being charged
with driving under the influence, Justin Bieber has pleaded guilty to a lesser
offense of careless driving, and has agreed to take an anger management
class. *** Actually, in his case it’s a temper tantrum
management class. (It’s like anger
management, but they color pictures, take naps and have recess.)
6.
Harley-Davidson is
recalling 3,000 motorcycles because excess vibration can cause the ignition
switch to turn off. *** To
ensure all Harley owners are effectively notified, a corrective action bulletin
is now available in the form of a tattoo.
7.
An article on
match.com says that men should watch for certain “red flags” when dating a
divorced woman. ***
For example, if her ex has been murdered and she’s out on bail.
8.
Taylor Swift
reportedly wore a racy outfit to the Teen Choice Awards, shedding her
“girl-next-door” look. *** Her new look is “girl-you-wish-was-next-door.”
9.
According to an
article in the journal “Neurology,” people who don’t get enough vitamin D have
a higher risk of developing Alzheimer’s.
*** In other words, if you don’t remember to take
your vitamin D today, then chances are you won’t remember to take it tomorrow.
10.
A truck crashed near
Lansing, Michigan and dumped 25 tons of human waste on the highway. ***
Wow—and we thought Michigan roads were …uh…crappy before.
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