1.
Andy Worhol’s painting
of Elvis Presley, “Triple Elvis,” has just sold at auction for $81.9
million. *** It’s extremely rare—it’s the only Elvis painting
in the world that was not done on black velvet.
2.
A tiger has been
spotted on the loose near Disneyland Paris.
*** In an effort to protect tourists in the area,
police have issued a warning to be on the lookout for predatory ticket prices.
3.
Seattle Seahawk fans were
outraged to learn that the stadium beer had been watered down. *** They became suspicious
when they woke up Monday morning and actually remembered the game.
4.
Starbucks has come out
with its first new holiday drink of the season, a chestnut-flavored latte. *** It’s not easy to make. They have to roast it on an open fire.
5.
Nigeria’s ambassador to
the U.S. is complaining that we won’t sell weapons to his country. *** He
said he sent a polite e-mail to the Pentagon with a list of the requested ordnance
and a promise to pay later with a shipment of gold bars.
6.
A 17 year old boy saved
a Philadelphia policeman’s life by pulling him from his cruiser which had burst
into flames after an accident. *** Then the kid had to restrain the cop from trying
to go back for the donuts.
7.
A study by a
Pennsylvania engineering firm shows that germs from a sneeze in an aircraft can
travel up to 50 feet. *** That’s
in coach. First-class passengers, of
course, don’t have any germs.
8.
In Egypt, a bus driver
used a clean urine sample from his wife for his drug screen, but he was fired
when it tested positive for pregnancy.
*** That’s too bad; here in the U.S. he would have
kept his job and gotten maternity leave.
9.
The Walter White action
figure with a gun and a bag of meth has been pulled by Toys R Us, but it’s
available on e-Bay for inflated prices.
*** Now it’s cheaper to just get
a Ken doll and corrupt him.
10.
McDonald’s has not yet
launched its new Facebook-based advertising slogan, “Lovin’ Beats Hatin’.” *** The
haters are demanding a recount.
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