News for Week Ending Friday, Jul 1, 2016

1.  Lindsay Lohan says she’s writing a book that talks about her personal experiences and gives advice on how to overcome obstacles.  ***  I believe her advice is to have a really good PR manager, an experienced lawyer and a 24/7 bail bondsman.  

2.  In response to cultural shifts, the 2016 Miss Teen USA Pageant will be dropping the swimsuit portion of the program.  ***  To reflect current trends, the entire competition will now be based on a comparison of selfies.

3.  Scientists believe that Mars is even more similar to Earth than previously thought now that the Mars rover has found traces of manganese oxide.  ***  That’s in addition to the previous discoveries of ice, alcohol and margarita salt.

4.  Caitlyn Jenner is on the cover of a special issue of Sports Illustrated which is headlined, “Where are they now?”   ***   Ms. Jenner will also be featured in the next special issue, “What are they now?”

5.  At a recent Tony Robbins motivational seminar, 30 people were treated for burns after walking on hot coals.  ***  So, at future events, when it’s time for participants to do something dangerous and risk getting burnt, they’ll just invest in the stock market.

6.  On this date in history:  Jul 1, 1963 – The U.S. Postal Service institutes the Zone Improvement Plan (ZIP codes).   ***  As a result of this improvement, most letters are now lost in the correct geographic area. 

7.  On this date in history:  Jun 30, 1859 – Charles Blondin is the first to cross Niagara Falls on a tightrope.  ***  Headlines the next day:  “Niagara Falls, Blondin Doesn’t.”

8.  On this date in history:  Jun 29, 1776 – Patrick Henry becomes governor of Virginia.  ***   I believe he was the patriot who said, “Give me liberty or give me…an easy job with a lot of perks and a good pension.”

9.  On this date in history:  Jun 29, 1967 – Keith Richards is sentenced to one year behind bars on drug charges.  ***  On the positive side:  The prison band was awesome.

10. On this date in history:  Jun 27, 1977 – By a vote of 5-4, the Supreme Court allows lawyers to advertise.   ***   But, hampered by truth-in-advertising laws, they could only run ads claiming that they’re less dishonest than the next guy.