News for Week Ending Friday, Nov 18, 2016

1.   United Airlines plans to increase restrictions on “low-fare” passengers, such as limiting them to one carry-on bag that must fit under their seat.  ***  And for the “ultra-low-fare,” the passenger must fit under the seat.

2.   During the next few months most Kenneth Cole retail stores will be closing their doors, but their fashions will still be available online.  ***   As they say, “When God closes a door, He opens a website.”

3.   The 3-year, $60 million restoration of the Capitol Dome has just been completed, so congressmen no longer have to worry about construction equipment, falling debris and tripping hazards. ***  However, it’s still extremely dangerous to cross the aisle.

4.   There are rumors that President-elect Trump may request security clearance for three of his children, giving them access to secure communications technology, travel schedules and Secret Service procedures. However, they would not be privy to the really sensitive information, such as intelligence reports, operational plans...***...and their father's tax returns.

5.   UltraViolet, a women’s advocacy organization, sent Hillary Clinton 1,000 roses after her election loss.   ***   Of course, the vase had to be huge—not because there were so many flowers, but because it was filled with tears from the group’s recent cry-in.

6.   On this date in history:  Nov 18, 1805 – In Wiscasset, Maine, thirty ladies organize the first women's club in America, the Female Charitable Society.   *** Basically, they go around saying nice things about people who don’t deserve it.

7.   On this date in history:  Nov 17, 1970 – Douglas Engelbart receives a patent for the first computer mouse.  ***  Of course, to make the patent coverage as broad as possible he referred to it as an “electronic rodent.”

8.   On this date in history:  Nov 16, 1676 – The first colonial prison is established in Nantucket.  ***  The inmates spent all their time writing limericks.

9.   On this date in history:  Nov 15, 1937 – For the first time, a U.S. congressional session is held in air-conditioned chambers.  ***  But that was almost 80 years ago, and we’re still waiting for cooler heads to prevail.

10.  On this date in history:  Nov 14, 1732 – The first professional librarian in America, Louis Timothee, is hired in Philadelphia.  ***  There were other good candidates, but he had the most intimidating “Sh-h-h-h-h.”