News for Week Ending Friday, Aug 10, 2018

1.   On a “Fox & Friends” segment about North Korea, Jillian Mele said, “Kim Jong Un is quite the romantic.”  ***  Yes, nothing says “ambiance” like wine, cheese and candlelight while watching a late night execution.

2.   The Reader’s Digest website has an article on “How to Unlock Your Car Door without a Key in 30 Seconds.”  ***  Park it in downtown Detroit and walk away. 

3.   Thai citizenship has been granted to three of the boys who were trapped in a cave for two weeks and then extricated by a harrowing rescue through two miles of flooded tunnels.  ***   The U.S. Congress was impressed and is now considering a similar citizenship process for DACA.

4.   The Hood company has recalled its Vanilla Almond Breeze almond milk because it may actually contain some dairy milk.  ***  How could they possibly get dairy and almond milks confused? Everyone knows that milk-giving cows are the ones without the nuts. 

5.   While attempting the “Keke Challenge,” which involves jumping out of a moving car while dancing to a hip-hop song, an 18 year old Iowa girl fell and suffered a fractured skull.  ***  Yes, doctors say skulls are always more likely to fracture when there’s nothing inside.

6.   On this date in history:  Aug 10, 1846 – The Smithsonian Institution, sometimes referred to as “the nation's attic," is established by Congress. ***   Sometimes referred to as “the nation’s swamp.”

7.   On this date in history:  Aug 9, 1803 – The first horses arrive in Hawaii.  ***   Really?  They couldn’t just take their vacations in a pasture back home?

8.   On this date in history:  Aug 8, 1918 – After 6 U.S. soldiers are surrounded in France, Alvin York shoots 20 Germans and captures 132 more.  ***  After the war, the German government gave each of those 132 soldiers the coveted “Stupid Dummkopf Award.”

9.   On this date in history:  Aug 7, 1789 – The U.S. War Department is established.   ***  And it did a great job of creating and maintaining wars for many, many years.

10.  On this date in history:  Aug 6, 1961 – Russian cosmonaut Gherman Titov becomes the first person to report motion sickness in space.  ***  Unfortunately, he had to  spend the rest of the flight trying to clean his helmet.