1. A waitress in a Chicago cocktail lounge reportedly
spit on Eric Trump. *** Actually, that’s just the Midwest version of a
golden shower.
2. To prevent a small automotive firm from copying
an iconic design, a court in Italy ruled that the legendary Ferrari 250 GTO is
legally a work of art. *** The Italian judges also declared that all
German cars are crap, British cars aren’t much better and French cars don’t
even count.
3. The U.S. has reportedly carried out a cyberattack
against Iran’s military control network. ***
In a cruel and heartless response, Iran has threatened to target America’s
seniors by hacking into our computer games and removing one card from all the
solitaire decks.
4. Romance novelist Judith Krantz has died at the
age of 91. She is survived by two sons, a daughter-in-law… *** …and
over 100 imaginary lovers.
5. In Pismo Beach, California, a 13 year old girl
walking along the water was attacked and bitten by a sea lion. *** Unfortunately, she has started having
nightmares, but on the other hand, she can now enthusiastically clap her hands
while balancing a ball on her nose.
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