Friday, June 7, 2019

News for Week Ending Friday, Jun 7, 2019


1.   Beverly Hills has become the first U.S. city to ban the sale of tobacco products, and Mayor John Mirisch proclaimed, “This reflects the values of our community.”   ***   He said the people of Beverly Hills believe money is better spent on facelifts, tummy tucks and tanning salons.

2.   Contrary to earlier reports, Kim Jong Un apparently showed some restraint and did not execute the man who led the failed denuclearization talks with President Trump.  ***   He only executed the guy responsible for the cold coffee and stale croissants.

3.   Ireland is changing its divorce laws because the current process is overly restrictive and unfair.  ***  For example, to file the necessary paperwork, men actually have to leave the pub.

4.   The Coach & Horses pub in London has just been granted a nudist license, so now the staff and customers can all be naked.  ***  Men should probably not order their whiskey “on the rocks.”

5.   A United Nations human rights investigator says Julian Assange has been suffering from psychological torture.   ***  Dozens of visits from Pamela Anderson and she never wore her swimsuit from Baywatch.

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