Friday, May 1, 2020

News Humor for Week Ending Friday, May 1, 2020


1.   To minimize the spread of COVID-19, Georgia governor Brian Kemp announced that residents who meet all other requirements for a drivers license do not need to pass a “comprehensive on-the-road driving test.”  ***    Actually, I often get the impression it’s been that way here in Michigan for years.  

2.   Most health officials say that even after the worst of this crisis has passed, we should all continue to practice social distancing.   ***   Gee, Dear, I’d love to stop and ask for directions, but…

3.   As millions of Americans struggle to cope with a “stay home” lifestyle, the Internet has been filled with stories and videos of people giving themselves haircuts.  ***    We plan to do that at our house, too, if we can find the scissors. Before we were even two weeks into 24/7 home confinement my wife and I had already decided it would be a good idea to hide all sharp objects.

4.   After being criticized for wearing a face mask with the image of a Confederate flag during a legislative vote, Michigan state senator Dale Zorn told a reporter it was not a symbol of the Confederacy, but he knew it would “raise some eyebrows.” ***  Upon hearing this, the CDC immediately issued a warning, saying that if your face mask raises eyebrows, you’re wearing it way too tight.  

5.   Therapists say shared decision-making is important for couples coping with 24/7 home confinement.  ***  I agree. For example, my wife and I both enjoy watching murder mysteries, but we take turns deciding which movie to watch. She always picks one where the husband is murdered and then I pick one where the wife is done in.

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