Friday, July 24, 2020

News Humor for Week Ending Friday, Jul 24, 2020


1.     As mentioned in yesterday’s “Pill,” MSU has designated one of the campus dorms as an emergency residence for any students who test positive for Covid, which, I’m sure, would be a traumatic situation for the affected students and their families.  ***  I certainly know how my parents would have reacted:
“Mom, Dad, everything will be OK but I just want you to know that they’re moving me to the Covid dorm.”
“Oh no, that’s terrible!”  “Yes, that’s been our greatest fear!”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. It’s only until I’m no longer contagious and can’t spread the virus.”
“Oh. Thank goodness that’s all it is. We thought you said ‘Co-ed dorm.’ ”
(The only unknown: How long after hanging up the phone they would suddenly realize that co-eds can get Covid, too.)

2.   To prevent the spread of Covid-19 in the dorms, Michigan State University has announced that any student testing positive for the virus will be immediately re-assigned to a specially designated residence.  ***   Ann Arbor.  

3.   To help reduce the spread of coronavirus, some health officials have suggested not singing or chanting in church.  ***  They also ask that we avoid words that start with “explosive” sounds like “P” and “T,” especially in sentences that have an exclamation point at the end.

4.   Michael Cohen is suing Attorney General William Barr, claiming that his return to prison was to prevent him from working on his “tell-all” book about President Trump and was a clear case of “retaliation.”  ***   Or rather, “no-tell-iation.”

5.   Tony Shalhoub recently produced a short video in which his TV character, Adrian Monk (the germophobic, fastidious, obsessive-compulsive detective), tries to deal with the threat of Covid infection.  ***   There had been talk of a full length movie version of “Monk.” I believe the title would be “The Man in the Ironed Mask.”   

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