1. To improve worker productivity, a British firm
has designed a toilet with a 13-degree slope that makes it painful to sit on
for more than five minutes and discourages employees from spending too much
time in the bathroom. *** Previously, supervisors just shut off the vent
fan.
2. After making disparaging and suggestive on-air
remarks about his co-workers, hockey analyst Jeremy Roenick was suspended by NBC
for “inappropriate comments.” *** Network officials later explained that “inappropriate
comments” would include anything negative about co-workers…or anything positive
about the Detroit Red Wings.
3. Detroit police are now searching for the driver
of a red Camaro who blocked traffic on I-94 while showing off and doing
“donuts” in the middle of the freeway. *** Dozens of police were reportedly disappointed
after responding to the dispatcher’s announcement of “Donuts on I-94.”
4. This past weekend Michigan road crews worked to
clean up a mysterious green substance that had been oozing out of the ground
and onto I-696 in Madison Heights. *** After
a thorough analysis, the EPA investigator issued this report:
I do not like that yucky green.
I do not like what I have seen.
I do not like it on the road.
I do not like it in the cold.
I do not like it in this town.
I do not like it all around.
I do not like green ooze and slime.
I do not like it any time.
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