Friday, December 27, 2019

News for Week Ending Friday, Dec 27, 2019


1.   To improve worker productivity, a British firm has designed a toilet with a 13-degree slope that makes it painful to sit on for more than five minutes and discourages employees from spending too much time in the bathroom.   ***  Previously, supervisors just shut off the vent fan.

2.   After making disparaging and suggestive on-air remarks about his co-workers, hockey analyst Jeremy Roenick was suspended by NBC for “inappropriate comments.”   ***  Network officials later explained that “inappropriate comments” would include anything negative about co-workers…or anything positive about the Detroit Red Wings.

3.   Detroit police are now searching for the driver of a red Camaro who blocked traffic on I-94 while showing off and doing “donuts” in the middle of the freeway.  ***  Dozens of police were reportedly disappointed after responding to the dispatcher’s announcement of “Donuts on I-94.”

4.   This past weekend Michigan road crews worked to clean up a mysterious green substance that had been oozing out of the ground and onto I-696 in Madison Heights. ***  After a thorough analysis, the EPA investigator issued this report:
I do not like that yucky green.
I do not like what I have seen.
I do not like it on the road.
I do not like it in the cold.
I do not like it in this town.
I do not like it all around.
I do not like green ooze and slime.
I do not like it any time.

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