1. North Korea has warned the United States that we
should prepare for an unspecified “Christmas gift.” *** Dang, I hate
it when North Korea draws our name in “Secret Santa.”
2. In a tense moment at yesterday’s NATO conference,
President Trump said Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau was “two-faced.” *** That was
quite a nasty insult, because Mr. Trump has absolutely no respect for people
who are “two faced” … or, actually, anything less than five.
3. In a recent interview, Brad Pitt said emotional moments
now often cause him to cry, but previously, over the past 20 years, he had
never cried. *** Hmmm, apparently Angelina wasn’t a very good dominatrix.
4. A recent study of pre-historic fossils concluded
that for 70 million years snakes had rear legs.
*** Sadly, throughout
their 70 million year evolution those poor reptiles had to put up with never
ending “snake jokes” and cruel taunts about “pushing on a rope.”
5. After serving almost 18 months of his prison
sentence, Bill Cosby has finally broken his silence. *** It was reportedly
right after the cafeteria introduced “Burrito Night.”
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