Friday, September 4, 2020

News Humor for Week Ending Friday, Sep 4, 2020

 

1.   In the past two months Taco Bell has dropped numerous items from the menu.   ***   In fact, because of Covid concerns, every time someone sneezes back in food-prep, one more item is no longer available.

 

2.   In Ashland City, Tennessee, Solomon--a 150 pound pet tortoise--was finally found, 74 days after escaping from his owner’s home.   ***   In an emotional reunion, the grateful owner said there’s no telling where Solomon might have ended up if he had made it all the way to the sidewalk.

 

3.   McDonalds is introducing Spicy Chicken McNuggets, the first new flavor in 40 years.   ***    Market conditions are finally right for success: People are now satisfied with anything that doesn’t taste like the inside of a face mask.

 

4.   Officials at the University of Pennsylvania have rejected a request by six professors in its business school to investigate the circumstances surrounding the 1966 acceptance of Donald Trump.  ***  A university spokesperson said Penn has never shown favoritism to wealthy families; even if they’ve made large donations or funded a new building on campus, they still have to bribe the admissions office just like anyone else.

 

5.   In Covington, Georgia, the mansion that was used in the 1939 filming of “Gone with the Wind” is now a bed and breakfast.  ***   The owners claim that one window has had no covering ever since the draperies were re-purposed by “Scarlett,” although they were at a loss to explain a later disappearance of the drapery rod itself.

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