1. After years of study, scientists have concluded
that animal bones found in New Zealand are from a giant parrot that lived 20
million years ago and was over 3 feet tall. *** In
those days, if Polly wanted a cracker, you darn well better give her one.
2. A South Korean cult leader was arrested after
convincing her followers to pay $25,000 so they could travel to Fiji, where
they would “live for eternity.” *** Yeah, immortality would be nice…if it wasn’t
so darn expensive.
3. President Trump has spoken out against video
games that feature excessive violence. *** He said every game should allow players to avoid
violent combat scenarios by going to “Settings” and clicking on “Bone Spurs.”
4. A Word-of-the-Day recently featured by Word
Genius was “senescence,” which means “the aging process.” ***
To further explain it, here’s the word used in a sentence: “Senescence
sucks.”
5. The founders of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream have
created a new flavor, “Bernie’s Back,” to honor Bernie Sanders. ***
It tastes pretty good, but you have to share it with everyone who doesn’t
have any ice cream.
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