1. To promote their new line of denim clothing, Kendall
and Kylie Jenner appear in a Macy’s ad wearing only jeans and nothing else. *** I
believe their message is this: If you buy our bottoms, you can’t afford a top.
2. A Delta pilot was removed as his flight was about
to depart because of signs that he was drunk. *** In
accordance with federal regulations, authorities overlooked his slurred speech
and rambling commentary, but had to step in when he started to forget the
punchlines to all his jokes.
3. In Lake Worth, Florida, a man parked his electric
Tesla on a stranger’s lawn without permission and plugged in the car overnight
to re-charge. *** Having
dealt with Tesla owners before, police asked residents to be on the lookout for
someone looking excessively smug.
4. British police made several arrests after a
violent brawl broke out on the cruise ship Britannia. *** A
cruise line spokesman apologized for the disruption and said proper Brits would
have resolved their differences with a lively game of shuffleboard.
5. North Korea has just released a photo of Kim Jong
Un posing near a new submarine. *** It’s apparently an amazing leap in
technology—the picture was taken at the DMZ with the periscope sticking up
through the dirt.
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