News for Week Ending Friday, Nov 11, 2016

1.   In the wake of the presidential election, a lot of people have started looking into the procedures for impeachment.  ***  However, most folks feel it’s better to just chill out and let Mr. Obama finish his term.

2.   Scientists trying to combat jet lag are studying the genes of fruit flies, which have strong 24 hour body clocks.  ***  Actually, they’ve already developed one jet lag cure, but it makes you go crazy around over-ripe bananas.

3.   Vatican officials angrily denounced a Chinese priest who claimed to have promoted himself to bishop.  ***  Imagine how upset they were the following day when they saw white smoke coming out of his chimney.

4.   A woman on the Dr. Phil Show claimed that she is pregnant with Jesus.  ***   Great! After Jesus is born, I look forward to him and Dr. Phil accusing each other of having a God complex.

5.   On the AOL web site, AOL Entertainment posted the teaser headline, “Here’s who Britney Spears wants to win the presidency.”   ***  And the sub-headline promised to also identify the three people who care.

6.   On this date in history:  Nov 11, 1926 – U.S. Route 66 is established.   ***   Don’t confuse that with Route 666, which is the highway to hell.

7.   On this date in history:  Nov 10, 1908 – The first free Gideon Bibles are put in hotel rooms. *** Gideon’s strategy became apparent a few years later when he began introducing his money-making products: The Gideon Vibrating Mattress, Gideon Videos and finally, the Gideon Minibar. 

8.   On this date in history:  Nov 9, 2009 – Joe Cada becomes the youngest champion of the World Series of Poker.  ***  In fact, when he arrived his mother dropped him off with his Spiderman backpack, his lunch money and a deck of cards.

9.   On this date in history:  Nov 8, 1910 – William H. Frost receives the first U.S. patent for an electrical device that kills insects.   ***   You smash them with a battery.

10.  On this date in history:  Nov 7, 1910 – The first air freight shipment is made by the Wright Brothers for department store owner Max Moorehouse.   ***   “What, Max?  You want a ‘tracking number’?  OK, it’s 1.”