1. Lufthansa Airlines is now allowing Middle East passengers to transport their hunting falcons in the main cabin. Of course, the airlines will continue to allow in-cabin transport of cats and dogs. *** Or as the falcon people call them, “snacks.”
2. A man in England has undergone 50 operations and spent $150,000 to look like Kim Kardashian. *** Gee, that’s almost as much as Kim Kardashian spent to look like Kim Kardashian.
3. Kris Kardashian and Bruce Jenner have just finalized their divorce, and she agreed to pay him $2.5 million. *** But, in the true spirit of Christmas, she’s going to give it to him in the form of a plastic surgery gift card.
4. Newt Gingrich says President Obama should hunt down whoever hacked the Sony e-mails, otherwise we are just opening the door for foreign terrorists to control the American media. *** Mr. Obama agrees, and wants to keep control of the media where it belongs--with the Democrats.
5. McDonalds is rationing french fries in Japan because of a shortage. *** They have enough potatoes, but they’re running out of grease.
6. A study in a British medical journal estimates that doctors in that country lose $19 million every year in magazines stolen from waiting rooms. *** Here in the U.S., doctors avoid that problem by making sure you wait long enough to finish reading all of them.
7. Next year Hilton hotel guests will be able to check in, get their room assignment and open their room door with their smart phones. *** And by selecting the Charlie Sheen package, the app will automatically line up hookers, order booze from room service and put a disaster recovery team on stand-by.
8. Sy Berger, who passed away this weekend, is best known for designing the modern baseball card in 1952. *** It took him many, many tries to come up with a card that made just the right sound in the bicycle spokes.
9. The U.S. Army is auctioning off surplus Humvees, but cautions that they are not legal for driving on public highways. *** Unless the public highway is in a country that we’re invading.
10. In a recent YouTube video, a Japanese store clerk shows how to wrap a gift in 12 seconds. *** That’s good, because that’s about all the time I have left after I finally finish Christmas shopping.