1. According to a study by researchers at Brunel University in England, women prefer men who have feminine facial features. *** OMG! Bruce Jenner got it right!
2. Bernard Kilpatrick, the father of convicted Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, will serve the rest of his sentence for tax evasion at a halfway house… *** …where it is expected he will only be able to evade half his taxes.
3. A company that makes baby wipes has found traces of bacteria and has recalled all the product. *** I’m only guessing, but I don’t think they want you to return the used ones.
4. People have been furious to learn that the FBI had tried to capture a suspect by creating a bogus website and impersonating a news organization. *** Just because Fox and CNN get away with it…
5. Twelve Nobel Peace Prize winners have demanded that President Obama make full disclosure of America’s torture of terrorist suspects. *** Torture such as sleep deprivation, waterboarding, and watching your president get dictated to by twelve Nobel Peace Prize winners.
6. The Cuban government has finally agreed to allow construction of the first new Catholic church in 55 years. *** The breakthrough came after the Vatican agreed to allow cigar smoking during Mass.
7. There are allegations that Vice President Joe Biden improperly used a log cabin in Grand Teton National Park that is intended for government business, not vacations. He reportedly just relaxed and did not attend any events or carry out any official duties. *** In other words, business.
8. An article on Lifestyle.com lists ten signs that it’s time to change your doctor. *** Sign #1: He’s serving time in a maximum security prison.
9. After Oprah Winfrey’s driver ran over a woman’s foot in front of a Miami restaurant, Oprah immediately made amends with the woman by getting out of the car and posing for a picture. *** Of course, if the woman had been seriously injured Oprah would have posed for a video.
10. In Oklahoma City, a man claimed that Satan told him to use his car to destroy a monument with the Ten Commandments. *** That really wasn’t necessary. Satan’s been pretty successful just by telling people to ignore them.