1. Mary Doyle Keefe, who posed for Norman Rockwell’s painting, “Rosie the Riveter,” has passed away at the age of 92. *** Actually, old riveters never die; they just get hammered.
2. In Britain, the number of women becoming nuns has hit a 25-year high, and they say it’s because the Catholic church offers them everything they need: A meaningful life, freedom from financial worry *** and a really good dental plan.
3. McDonald’s just revealed that it has already closed 350 locations this year, a move which was not previously announced. *** I think they should have at least told all those people lined up at the drive-thru.
4. Target officials have apologized for web site snafus during the rush for the limited supply of Lilly Pulitzer resort clothing. *** On the other hand, WalMart is still struggling to unload its supply of Charlie Sheen designer flip-flops.
5. Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, has died at the age of 14. *** An autopsy showed that the poor dog died from excessive exposure to pink.
6. Nine distillery workers in Kentucky were arrested for stealing $100,000 worth of premium bourbon in oak barrels. *** The thieves are expected to be sentenced to several years of aging.
7. At 39 years old, actress Charlize Theron says that women should embrace the aging process. *** In fact, she says looks forward to being 39 for many years to come.
8. According to the web site Rover.com, the most popular name for cats is Lily. *** Although most cats will respond to the popular nickname, GetOffTheCounterDammit!
9. A Catholic priest in Ann Arbor is urging parishioners to arm themselves, and his church is hosting a concealed pistol license class. *** Well, it looks like things might get a little more exciting on bingo night.
10. A group of doctors is demanding that TV celebrity “Dr. Oz” be removed from his faculty position at Columbia University because of his “disdain for evidence-based medicine.” *** Additionally, the doctors wish to inform Dr. Oz that the Neilson Ratings are not considered evidence.