1. Nissan has a developed a “self cleaning” car that uses a special nano technology paint to repel dirt and grime. *** Meanwhile, General Motors has a slightly different approach to keeping your car clean: A free car wash with every recall.
2. “The Amazing Spiderman 2” premiered in New York City yesterday and all the stars of the show were there. *** Except for Spiderman himself. He’s the military assistance that Joe Biden promised to Ukraine.
3. Justin Bieber apologized for stopping at a controversial shrine in Japan, saying that he didn’t realize it commemorated Japanese war criminals. *** He promised to come back in a couple days and throw eggs at it.
4. Al Gore’s daughter got married last week, and the former VP walked her down the aisle. *** When they got to the altar, the groom had to wake her up.
5. General Motors is running ads that show real people unable to identify a new model as a Buick. *** Of course, that’s without the normal clues, such as a straw hat on the rear shelf, garage scrapes on the sides and the AARP bumper sticker.
6. A man in Fredricksburg, Virginia found $1,000 in an envelope in a Walmart parking lot and turned it into the police. *** Authorities have been unable to figure out why someone with $1,000 would have been shopping at Walmart.
7. According to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, many college loans co-signed by a parent or grandparent must be immediately paid in full if that relative dies. *** So, a lesson for seniors: Co-signing a college loan is a great way to keep the kids and grandkids from pulling the plug.
8. The U.S. is planning military exercises in the Black Sea this summer, including the use of trained dolphins. Military experts say it’s possible that Russian military dolphins will be active in the same area at the same time. *** Well, I think we’re going to be in trouble. Vladimir Putin probably has nasty dolphins with names like Killer, Sea Devil and Carnage, while President Obama’s have names like Flipper, Squeaky and Splash.
9. Spain now has a senior citizen home for gays, lesbians and transsexuals. *** It’s a little awkward—most of the residents can’t remember which they are.
10. A 15 year old boy survived a flight from California to Hawaii after stowing away in a jet’s wheel well, even though the outside air temperature dropped far below freezing and there was very little oxygen. *** But he had a lot more legroom than coach.