1. Under new rules, Delta Airlines will not allow you to take your emotional support animal on flights longer than 8 hours. *** Unless you’re the pilot.
2. An elderly British couple in their 70’s were arrested aboard the cruise ship Marco Polo after authorities found 20 pounds of cocaine hidden in their cabin. *** Well, that certainly seems to explain the huge waiting list for the senior cruise.
3. In Torrance, California, two nuns have been accused of embezzling $500,000 from the Catholic school where they were teachers. *** That’s a major felony, so they’re facing some serious jail time and up to 25 raps on the knuckles with a giant ruler.
4. In Alloa, Scotland, a mother sent her young son to school with an inflatable sheep for a manger scene, not realizing it was a blow-up sex toy. *** The first clue was when someone squeezed it and it said, “B-a-a-a-a-d Boy.”
5. Ramsey Bearse, a former Miss Kentucky, has been charged with a sending a nude photo of herself to a high school student. *** Actually, it was just the standard Miss Kentucky pose, which included the tiara, the pageant sash and a strategically-placed bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.