1. In an interview with “Men’s Health” magazine, Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted there were several times when he “stepped over the line” in his treatment of women. *** He said it probably wasn’t proper to hold maid interviews in the bedroom.
2. McDonald’s announced it will be eliminating all artificial ingredients in its hamburgers. *** As a result, the Quarter Pounder will now be the Eighth Pounder, the Big Mac will now be a Small Mac, and the Cheeseburger will just be…the Burger.
3. Police in the UK recently freed a 58 year old man who had been held captive for 40 years in a garden shed with only a bed, a chair, a hot plate, a scrap of carpet and a TV. *** How sad—it was just one beer fridge short of a man cave.
4. The FDA has just revoked its approval of seven food additives because of their adverse effects on humans. *** In the interest of public safety, they banned everything that was fed to the senate committee handling the Brett Kavanaugh hearings.
5. In Hartland, Michigan, a high school cheerleader was caught handing out marijuana-filled brownies in order to get voted prom queen. *** In a related story, Brett Kavanaugh was sworn in as a Supreme Court justice and he expressed his gratitude to President Trump, Betty Crocker and an old prep school buddy known only as “Weed.”