1. A man in the Detroit suburb of Westland caused a 5-car pile-up, then stripped naked and started dancing in the middle of the street. *** Just another Michigan audition for “America’s Got Talent.”
2. Studies at UCLA have found that excessive time spent sitting can physically affect certain regions of the brain. *** Researchers say these results seem to support common accusations about where some people’s heads are located.
3. Fox News’ Sean Hannity, who was identified as the third client of pay-off lawyer Michael Cohen, said he only used Mr. Cohen for real estate deals. *** For example, keeping someone quiet by offering them a house.
4. The company that makes Necco Wafers is going out of business. *** Ah yes, the candy that made all us little Catholic kids expect that communion wafers would be fruit flavored.
5. Arnold Schwarzenegger is reportedly recovering nicely from his recent emergency open heart surgery. *** In fact, he has already been asking for a television, reading material and maid service.
6. On this date in history: April 20, 1981 – The final episode of the TV show "Soap" is broadcast. *** It was replaced by a spin-off series, “Rinse.”
7. On this date in history: April 19, 1770 – Captain James Cook lands in Australia for the first time. *** After seeing a platypus, a kangaroo and a boomerang, he immediately decided to stop drinking.
8. On this date in history: Apr 18, 1663 – Osman declares war on Austria. *** Since no one today ever heard of Osman, it’s a safe bet that Austria won that one.
9. On this date in history: April 17, 1521 – Martin Luther is excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church. *** Not only is he barred from receiving the sacraments, but he is also banned from bingo nights, fish fries and the annual church picnic.
10. On this date in history: April 16, 1986 – To dispel rumors that he's dead, Moammar Qadhafi appears on television. *** Yeah, every once in a while Larry King does the same thing.