Friday, October 9, 2020

News Humor for Week Ending Friday, Oct 9, 2020

 

1.   Dollar General, the very profitable chain of bargain stores, announced plans for 32 up-scale stores named “Popshelf.”  ***   The company assured investors that it would continue to maintain low overheads, source products from the lowest cost suppliers, and never pay someone to come up with a good name for its stores.

 

2.   McDonald’s has added three pastries to its menu—blueberry muffins, apple fritters and cinnamon rolls—after surveys indicated a growing market for baked goods.  ***  On the other hand, previous product failures, such as Hula Burgers, Onion McNuggets and McHotDogs, showed there was no market for ideas that were only half-baked.

 

3.   British Vogue magazine has given the “Official Sandal of 2020” award to the trendy Birkenstock, which has been recommended by podiatrists for its compliant soles and extra arch support.   ***  And, for Kim Kardashian, extra support in the heels.

 

4.   Kim Richardson, a 63 year old Texas woman, has been sentenced to 54 months in prison for shoplifting millions of dollars in merchandise over the past 19 years.  ***  Ms. Richardson is surprisingly upbeat, and with her shoplifting skills expects to leave there with an entirely new wardrobe, a complete set of matching dinnerware and enough books to fill a small library.

 

5.   To better accommodate and direct large numbers of shoppers during peak periods, Walmart is changing its store layouts and signage, and is studying airports for best practices. *** Additionally, a company spokesperson announced that all new shopping carts will have two wheels and a retractable handle.

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