1. Utility crews in Palm Springs, Florida are examining a 4-foot wide sink hole that suddenly appeared in front of Mar-a-Lago. *** Apparently God just wanted to start with a little test spot.
2. Ben Higgins and Lauren Bushnell, the couple from the 2015 season of “The Bachelor,” announced that they’re breaking up. *** After living together for a year, they finally realized they’re only compatible if they pause every 15 minutes for a commercial.
3. At the Newark airport, a reported engine fire on a United Airlines flight preparing for take-off had passengers scrambling for the exits and jumping down the emergency slides. *** Well, it looks like United finally found a quick and easy way to deplane its overbooked passengers.
4. Nicki Minaj surprised the Ellen DeGeneres audience by announcing that she plans to remain celibate for the next year. *** Or possibly a little less, depending on how soon the rash clears up.
5. In an interview on CBS, Tom Brady’s wife, Gisele, said that last season the quarterback suffered a concussion. *** Patriots fans were stunned—at first they all thought she said “confession.”
6. On this date in history: May 26, 1930 – The Supreme Court rules that buying liquor is not in violation the Constitution. *** But most of the things you do after drinking it probably are.
7. On this date in history: May 25, 1922 – Babe Ruth is suspended for one day and fined $200 for throwing dirt on an umpire. *** That’s what happens when you throw dirt—if you’re a baseball player, you get fined; if you’re a politician, you get elected.
8. On this date in history: May 24, 1954 – IBM announces development of an "electronic brain” that could perform 10 million mathematical operations per hour. *** However, they didn’t actually say if the answers were correct.
9. On this date in history: May 23, 1903 – The first automobile trip across the U.S. from San Francisco to New York begins, and will take 8 days. *** To put it another way, that’s over 200 are-we-there-yets.
10. On this date in history: May 22, 1954 – Robert Zimmerman (a.k.a. Bob Dylan) has his Bar Mitzvah. *** It went very well--his English was so garbled everyone assumed he was speaking a rare form of Hebrew.