1. According to a recent poll, President Obama’s approval rating has dropped to an all-time low—less than 40%. *** In other words, Michelle and Malia have now given him thumbs down, but Sasha’s still hangin’ in there.
2. The Toronto City Council stripped Mayor Rob Ford of many of his powers after he admitted using drugs. *** For example, he can no longer issue official proclamations, like when he declared “Cocaine Appreciation Day.”
3. Florida Congressman Henry “Trey” Radel has been charged with possession of cocaine. He said, “I stand ready to face the consequences of my actions.” *** Of course, he’s not really worried. I mean, Congress shut down the federal government, approved spying on private citizens, and put millions of individual health plans at risk—and they all got off scott free.
4. Three executives at IKEA France were arrested and charged with spying on staff and customers. *** They claimed they were just trying to find out how everyone else managed to assemble the furniture.
5. A company called the “Authentic Brands Group” has purchased the rights to all the intellectual property associated with Elvis Presley. *** I believe they paid $19.95.
6. The deputy chief of Libya’s spy operations was kidnapped at the Tripoli airport. *** OK, that’s when you know that your country’s spying is a little sub-standard – when you didn’t see that coming.
7. People in Indonesia are having to deal with all the ash from a huge volcanic eruption on Monday. *** You know, President Obama lived in Indonesia for a while, but he had to come to Washington D.C. to get his “ash” handed to him.
8. New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was forced to cancel his appearance at a Philadelphia non-profit fundraiser because of illness. *** And because he realized Philadelphia is in another state.
9. A U.S. Airways Express flight from Philadelphia to New York was cancelled after a disagreement on where a seeing eye guide dog should sit. The flight attendant said it had to be under a seat in the passenger section. *** But the pilot said he needed his dog with him up in the cockpit.
10. Joe Biden’s Chief of Staff, Bruce Reed, has resigned *** Actually, he was fired for failing to get the Vice President on “Dancing with the Stars.”