1. Joe Biden’s Chief of Staff, Bruce Reed, has resigned. His duties included supporting Mr. Biden’s role in critical legislation, scheduling all the people who wanted to meet with the Vice President, and responding to invitations to important international events. *** In other words, he had absolutely nothing to do.
2. A North Carolina man has been arrested for trying to join a Middle-East military group linked to al-Qaida. *** Actually, that was one of the insurance options on the Obamacare website.
3. A Philadelphia fundraiser was postponed after New Jersey Governor Chris Christie had to cancel his appearance due to illness, and the food that was to have been served will be donated to charity. *** And that’s a lot of food.
4. Kentucky’s state-run Obamacare marketplace has detailed records of who has signed up for healthcare coverage, and it shows that a large percentage of the enrollees are young women. *** Actually, they thought they were registering on “meet-a-rich-doctor-dot-com.”
5. The Vatican is launching a new magazine that is entirely in Latin, but it only comes out twice a year. *** That’s because it takes the reader six months to translate it.
6. The senior class president at Northwest Christian University in Oregon has revealed that he doesn’t believe in God. *** Wow—that’s like the class president at Trump University saying he doesn’t believe in money.
7. British immigration officials embarrassed themselves by raiding a valid wedding that they thought was a sham to get around immigration laws. *** Hey, if they really want to learn how to identify weddings that are a complete sham, they should come to Hollywood.
8. The Vatican has launched a new magazine that’s written entirely in Latin. *** You know, Playboy did that a few years ago but nobody noticed.
9. The Federal Aviation Administration says it will be quite a while before drones are widely approved for flights over the United States because of controversy over their proper use. *** For example, some people want to make sure that the President will not authorize drone strikes against members of Congress…while other people want to make sure that he will.
10. In Japan, a novice lawmaker was widely criticized for handing a letter directly to the Emperor, which is a violation of established protocol. *** Here in the United States, we also have a very specific protocol for that sort of thing: The Congressman e-mails the message to a friend, then the NSA intercepts it and sends it to the White House.