1. Roger Ailes, the Fox CEO who was fired amid accusations of sexual harassment, has died at the age of 77. *** Former co-workers say he’ll be remembered fondle-y.
2. Japanese lawmakers are drafting legislation that would allow 83 year old Emperor Akihito to step down after he indicated his advanced age is a hindrance to carrying out his official duties. *** He says he tires easily, sometimes gets confused and often has trouble remembering who won that last big war.
3. With its stockpile of nuclear weapons and its relative proximity to North Korea, legislators in Seattle want to overturn a law that actually prohibits planning for a nuclear threat. *** In regards to seeking shelter during a nuclear attack, the lawmakers pointed out, “Hey, we can’t all rush to a Starbucks.”
4. Fox News anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle says she is being considered for replacing Sean Spicer as White House press secretary. *** The remaining steps are additional interviews with President Trump, a thorough background check, and finding someone to play her on Saturday Night Live.
5. After many years of feuding and estrangement, Elton John announced that he and his mother have reconciled, and he will “let bygones be bygones.” *** In return, she has agreed to always call him “Rocket Man.”
6. On this date in history: May 19, 1941 – German occupiers in Holland forbid bicycle taxis. *** Gee, just because of that one unfortunate incident involving a windmill…
7. On this date in history: May 18, 1804 – Napoleon Bonaparte is proclaimed Emperor of France. *** His first official act was to order the guillotine for anyone who didn’t agree that it was the biggest proclamation crowd ever.
8. On this date in history: May 17, 1620 – A merry-go-round first appears at a fair (in Turkey). *** Previously, fairgoers just ran by the brass ring dispenser and tried to grab one.
9. On this date in history: May 16, 1986 – Bobby Ewing (Patrick Duffy) comes back from dead on “Dallas.” *** That was the episode where we learned that all the bad news just a dream. Kind of like what we’re hoping to hear from CNN.
10. On this date in history: May 15, 1800 – King George III survives a second assassination attempt. *** He subsequently changed his name to King Lucky II.