Friday, April 24, 2015

1.        Mary Doyle Keefe, who posed for Norman Rockwell’s painting, “Rosie the Riveter,” has passed away at the age of 92.  ***   Actually, old riveters never die; they just get hammered.

2.        In Britain, the number of women becoming nuns has hit a 25-year high, and they say it’s because the Catholic church offers them everything they need:  A meaningful life, freedom from financial worry  *** and a really good dental plan.

3.        McDonald’s just revealed that it has already closed 350 locations this year, a move which was not previously announced.  ***  I think they should have at least told all those people lined up at the drive-thru.

4.        Target officials have apologized for web site snafus during the rush for the limited supply of Lilly Pulitzer resort clothing.  ***  On the other hand, WalMart is still struggling to unload its supply of Charlie Sheen designer flip-flops.

5.        Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, has died at the age of 14.  ***  An autopsy showed that the poor dog died from excessive exposure to pink.

6.        Nine distillery workers in Kentucky were arrested for stealing $100,000 worth of premium bourbon in oak barrels.  ***  The thieves are expected to be sentenced to several years of aging.

7.        At 39 years old, actress Charlize Theron says that women should embrace the aging process.  ***  In fact, she says looks forward to being 39 for many years to come.

8.        According to the web site Rover.com, the most popular name for cats is Lily.  ***  Although most cats will respond to the popular nickname, GetOffTheCounterDammit!

9.        A Catholic priest in Ann Arbor is urging parishioners to arm themselves, and his church is hosting a concealed pistol license class. ***  Well, it looks like things might get a little more exciting on bingo night.

10.     A group of doctors is demanding that TV celebrity “Dr. Oz” be removed from his faculty position at Columbia University because of his “disdain for evidence-based medicine.”  ***  Additionally, the doctors wish to inform Dr. Oz that the Neilson Ratings are not considered evidence.