Friday, October 24, 2014

Friday, Oct 24, 2014

1.        Toys R Us announced it has taken its controversial Walter White (“Breaking Bad”) action figure, with a gun and a bag of meth, off the shelves.   ***  Too many dissatisfied customers complained that the meth wasn’t real.

2.        In China’s Bapan Village people routinely live more than 100 years, and researchers say it’s partly due to physical activity, since they don’t have access to modern machinery, televisions or computers.  ***  No computers?  What’s the use of living to a hundred if you can’t brag about it on Facebook?

3.        Three teenagers from Denver are suspected of trying to join the terrorist group ISIS.    ***  Actually, they changed their minds after finding out the Middle East has no snowboarding.

4.        At a school in Fort Worth, Texas, 25 students were attacked by bees.   ***   It was quite upsetting for several over-achieving parents who felt their children should have been attacked by A’s.

5.        A sales clerk at a Sears store in New Jersey has been charged with stealing $3.7 million worth of merchandise and selling it.  ***  Sears officials have offered to drop the charges if she tells them how she managed to find so many customers.

6.        Despite his requests to the contrary, Senate candidate Michelle Nunn continues to use former President George H.W. Bush’s picture in her campaign ads, along with a reference to the years she spent heading up his “Points of Light” foundation.  ***  Now it seems she can no longer get the Point nor see the Light.

7.        Doctors have developed a thin ring that can be implanted in the cornea of the eye to eliminate the need for reading glasses.  ***  However, many patients have been disappointed by the procedure because they immediately test their new eyesight by reading the bill.

8.        The real estate website has identified the states with the most immature men based on the percentage of guys with “childish” tendencies, such as playing fantasy football, beer pong and video games.   ***    Coincidentally, those are also the states where guys have the most fun.

9.        While their divorce is pending, Bruce Jenner is dating his wife’s best friend, Ronda Kamihira.   ***   That’s unbelievable…Bruce Jenner is dating a woman?

10.     A Texas lab worker on a Carnival cruise showed some symptoms of Ebola and was held in isolation for the entire voyage, but after the ship reached port she tested negative for the virus.  ***  Sadly, she also tested negative for a sun tan.

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