1.
Because of Ebola
virus fears, an NBC survey says that 58% of Americans want to halt all flights
from West African countries.
*** The other 42% are still expecting
gold bars from Nigeria.
2.
A US Airways flight
departing Austin, Texas was delayed for two hours because of a swarm of bees in
the boarding jetway. ***
An airline spokesman said this was quite unusual, and normally
passengers are just stung by the high air fares.
3.
Although 94% of cars
sold in the U.S. are automatics, there are signs that manual transmissions
might be making a small comeback.
*** However, driver training is a
little more difficult because you have to learn to text left-handed and steer
with your knees.
4.
Wal-Mart is now
selling health insurance. *** Wouldn’t it
be better if they just made their stores a little more sanitary?
5.
Descendants of the
woman whose image was used as “Aunt Jemima” by Quaker Oats are suing the
company for $2 billion in unpaid royalties.
*** They are also preparing a
second lawsuit for royalties due to Jemima’s husband, Uncle Ben.
6.
The Seattle city
council is honoring Indians by replacing Columbus Day with Indigenous Peoples’
Day. *** Now,
don’t confuse that with Los Angeles, which is replacing Columbus Day with
Ingenuous Peoples’ Day.
7.
General Motors is
recalling nearly 100,000 Chevrolet Sparks because the hood can fly open while
driving. *** A
company spokesman said the malfunction is extremely serious and could result in
a severe reduction in fuel economy.
8.
A company called
Silentium is developing a noise cancellation device for airplane seats that will
eliminate the sounds of crying babies, noisy passengers and chatty flight
attendants. *** It’s
more convenient than waiting for your Taser to recharge.
9.
A 19 year old teen
who wanted to join ISIS was arrested at O’Hare airport as he attempted to board
a plane headed for the Middle East. *** Just one more guy who fell for that old trick
where the gate attendant announces priority boarding for terrorists.
10.
Hwang Pyong So, the
top political officer in North Korea, recently traveled to South Korea for
talks. *** He
said he enjoyed visiting so many beautiful targets…uh, cities.
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