News for Week Ending Friday, Dec 16, 2016

1.   Kanye West recently met with Donald Trump and left the meeting in good spirits.  ***   Unfortunately, the next day Mr. Trump had to call Kanye with some bad news after aides informed him that there is no Secretary of Hip-Hop.

2.   The United Nations has dropped comic book superhero Wonder Woman as an Honorary Ambassador after receiving a petition complaining that she was “a large-breasted white woman of impossible proportions, scantily clad in a shimmery, thigh-baring body suit with an American flag motif and knee high boots.”  ***  Disgruntled signers of the petition included Nancy, Little Orphan Annie, Cathy, Broom-Hilda, Lois, Mrs. Wilson and Opal.  

3.   A 109 year old woman in Lincoln County, Colorado says her secret to a long life is to be nice to others.  ***  Yeah, it’s probably easy to be nice to people when you know you’re going to outlive them.

4.   The Trump team is denying that Russian hackers could have influenced the results of the U.S. presidential election.  ***   I don’t know…I heard that in 2020 Vladimir Putin plans to run as an independent.  

5.   As previously reported, Prince William revealed that his wife, Kate Middleton, fights stress with adult coloring books.  ***  Prince Charles has now revealed that Camilla does, too; he said she rolls them up and whacks the servants.

6.   On this date in history:  Dec 16, 1773 – The Boston Tea Party takes place.  ***  Having heard rumors of the upcoming event, dozens of colonial women show up wearing little black dresses.

7.   On this date in history:  Dec 15, 1854 – The first street-cleaning machine in the U.S. is used in Philadelphia.  ***  It was designed to sweep up drug dealers, bums and hookers.

8.     On this date in history:  Dec 14, 1986 – The Voyager aircraft, piloted by Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager, takes off from Edwards AFB in California for the first non-stop, non-refueled flight around world.  ***  Departure was delayed, however, when they had to take off their flight suits for the TSA patdown.

9.     On this date in history:  Dec 13, 1950 – James Dean begins his career with an appearance in a Pepsi commercial.  ***  In those days he was known as “Rebel Without a Coke.” 

10.  On this date in history:  Dec 12, 1937 – NBC & RCA send the first TV news vans onto the streets of New York.  ***   The following day, NBC and RCA news departments announce the first reported theft of TV news vans.