1. A Michigan woman survived a roll-over
accident on I-75 after losing control when her German shepherd jumped on the
dash to bark at the windshield wipers.
*** So, the car is upside down and smoking,
the woman is distraught, all the emergency vehicles have arrived, and the dog
is thinking, “I knew those things were trouble.”
2. Stocks could lose 20% of their value in
2019 according to Todd Horwitz, a financial advisor with Bubba Trading. *** Generally, Bubba Trading recommends
investing your money in old pick-up trucks, huntin’ dogs and a very large
supply of beer.
3. Scientists in Germany recently found traces
of a Jurassic Period sea mammal known as “ichthyosaur,” but they said the only remaining
material is the creature’s blubber, which has survived for 180 million years. ***
Which kind of explains why it’s so hard to diet.
4. Arizona Governor Doug Ducey announced that
even though there is a partial government shutdown, the Grand Canyon “will
remain open.” ***
Duh, I think it would be kinda tough to close it.
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