Friday, March 13, 2020

News Humor for Week Ending Friday, Mar 13, 2020


1.   A study in the UK found that almost 10% of elderly people go an entire week without speaking face-to-face with someone, and the director of “Age UK” says it’s because younger people can’t take a minute to ask, “Hello, how are you?”   ***  Actually, it’s because they can’t take an hour to listen to the answer.

2.   In spite of concerns over the spread of Coronavirus, many venues are proceeding with planned activities, but they are taking extra precautions, such as a recent senior center event in which the chairs were placed 3 feet apart.   ***   Hopefully this will clarify my earlier report that none of us seniors were worried about the virus because we were all spaced out. 

3.   Walmart announced that an employee has tested positive for Coronavirus.   ***   The company’s stock is now plunging amid fears that the global disease is being transmitted primarily by flip-flops.

4.   Many voters are reportedly concerned that the three leading presidential candidates—Trump, Biden and Sanders—are all in their 70’s, so regardless of election results, the next office holder will have a high risk of health issues, limited physical endurance and diminished cognitive powers. ***  However, many of us seniors prefer to look at the bright side: In the next presidential library, with all its historic books and documents, everything will be large-print. 

5.   Prince Harry and Meghan were photographed arriving at the Endeavor Fund Awards, walking under an umbrella in the rain, in their first public appearance after stepping away from the royal life  ***  Thank goodness they had the umbrella to keep them dry while Harry tried to remember how to open a door.

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