1. Macy’s department stores will soon feature LensCrafters Optical Centers for customer convenience. *** Macy’s figured that was easier than enlarging the print on all its price tags and labels.
2. The Secret Service has assigned code names to Ben Carson and Donald Trump. Mr. Carson’s code name is “Eli,” which is a reference to Yale and also a biblical term meaning “God is most high.” Mr. Trump’s code name is “Mogul,”…*** … which is a business term meaning “I am most high.”
3. Dunkin’ Donuts has just unveiled its Christmas-themed holiday cup, which features a green wreath with the word “Joy” in it. Company officials say it reflects the happiness and spirit of the holiday season…***...and the wonderful feeling they get when taking sales away from Starbucks.
4. British researchers at the University of Reading have found that drinking champagne is good for your brain. *** Unfortunately, first you need something to celebrate.
5. A British supermarket plans to hire a person whose sole job will be to untangle Christmas tree lights. They’re looking for someone with a sharp mind, nimble fingers…***…and the ability to curse quietly.
6. On this date in history: 1793 - Jean Sylvain Bailly, the first mayor of Paris, is guillotined. *** Later, people realize a simple recall election would have been sufficient.
7. On this date in history: 1801 - Kentucky makes dueling illegal. *** People there are sick and tired of two guys having a shootout just to determine which one gets to marry their cousin.
8. On this date in history: 1847 - Sir James Young Simpson, a British physician, is the first to use chloroform as an anesthetic. *** Prior to that, doctors had rendered patients unconscious by showing them the bill.
9. On this date in history: 1885 - Gottlieb Daimler unveils the world's first motorcycle. *** For the occasion, Herr Daimler had on a leather jacket, heavy boots and a “Born to Raise Hell” tattoo.
10. On this date in history: 1983 - Amsterdam brewer Freddy Heineken is kidnapped. *** The only clue: Witnesses reported seeing him forced into a wagon being pulled by a team of Clydesdales.