News for Week Ending Friday, Sep 1, 2017

1.   As a result of Amazon’s purchase of Whole Foods, the grocery retailer has begun selling the Amazon Echo.  ***  Actually, it’s a special Whole Foods version, which can be found in the produce section and comes in the shape of a mango.

2.   A Japanese company has configured the humanoid robot "Pepper" to function as a Buddhist priest at funerals by chanting sutras while tapping a drum.  ***  It will also be available for weddings and receptions as soon as they figure out how to program the Chicken Dance.

3.   President Trump has lifted Obama-era restrictions on police, including the ban on the use of surplus military equipment…  ***  …and the daily limit of two donuts.

4.   According to a study by two universities in England, neurotic people tend to live longer.   ***   But thanks to a merciful God, the people who have to listen to them die early.

5.   During the recent renovation at the White House, the carpeting was renewed at a cost of $1.2 million.  ***   That’s a lot of money, but when so many staffers are getting called on the carpet I guess you want it to look good.

6.   On this date in history:  Sep 1, 1836 – A wagon train of Presbyterian missionaries reaches the site of what became Walla Walla, Washington.  ***   The journey taught them to follow their dreams, be persistent and never let a two-year old name a city.

7.   On this date in history:  Aug 31, 1954 – The Census Bureau is established.  ***  Apparently some people felt that a population estimate of “a gazillion” just wasn’t accurate enough.

8.   On this date in history:  Aug 30, 1979 – President Carter is attacked by a rabbit while on a canoe trip.   ***  Yes, political figures are often harassed by the hop-arazzi.

9.   On this date in history:  Aug 29, 1967 – The final episode of "The Fugitive" is broadcast.  ***  Millions of viewers feel a little bit guilty for not having any sympathy for the guy with one arm. 

10.  On this date in history:  Aug 28, 1907 – United Parcel Service begins operations (in Seattle).  ***  In one of the earliest examples of establishing brand identity, they only used brown horses.