News for Week Ending Friday, Dec 1, 2017

1.   According to a worldwide study of over 800,000 individuals, married people are 20% less likely to show signs of dementia.  ***  That’s because they can still handle every situation by saying, “Yes, Dear.”

2.   After complaints of “inappropriate behavior,” storyteller Garrison Keillor has been fired by Minnesota Public Radio.  ***  Mr. Keillor can now be contacted at his home on Lake WeBeGone.

3.   Disney is planning to make a live action movie based on its animated film, “Prince Charming,” but they say the story will be told from an entirely different perspective.  ***  I believe it will be told from the viewpoint of the women, who document the predatory behavior of the smooth-talking prince and get him thrown in prison for ten years.

4.   Time magazine has just been bought by Meredith Corporation, which publishes other magazines such as Better Homes & Gardens. ***   Media observers say if President Trump wants to be the Time’s “Person of the Year” again, he’ll have to beat out an interior decorator and a landscaper.

5.   After 68 year old Congressman Joe Barton sent naked photos of himself to a Texas woman, she later made them public, which is a violation of a Texas law against “revenge porn.”  ***  She also violated a federal law against distributing nude pictures of anyone who’s old enough for Social Security.

6.   On this date in history:  Dec 1, 1783 – In Paris, Jacques Charles and Nicolas Roberts make the world’s first untethered ascent with a hydrogen gas balloon.   ***  “No, dammit--I thought you tied the rope.”

7.   On this date in history:  Nov 30, 1678 – Roman Catholics are banned from being members of the English Parliament.  ***  It was just too disruptive to have so many people taking off early on bingo night.  

8.   On this date in history:  Nov 29, 1959 – The 2nd Annual Grammy Awards was held and Bobby Darin won with “Mack The Knife.”  ***  I believe that was in the category “Songs About Weapons.”

9.   On this date in history:  Nov 28, 1861 – The Confederate Congress officially admits Missouri to Confederacy.  ***  State officials had to promise to help fund the new government, provide soldiers to fight in the Civil War, and erect a lot of statues of the officers even if they lose.

10.  On this date in history:  Nov 27, 1934 – Bank robber George “Baby Face” Nelson dies in a shoot-out with the FBI.   ***  Agents had been told to be on the lookout for a 2 year old with a deep voice.