1. An article published in the scientific journal “Joule” says that Greek yogurt could be used to power jet planes. *** So, you’ll know we might be gearing up for war if you see a lot of Air Force uniforms in the dairy aisle.
2. In Alabama, defeated senate candidate Roy Moore is demanding a recount, and told his supporters, “God is always in control.” *** So, in the first tally of votes, God miscounted?
3. According to a recent medical study reported on NBC, depression can begin much earlier than previously thought. *** In fact, it generally starts within 15 minutes of reading all your friends’ posts on Facebook.
4. In an environment-friendly move, Anheuser-Busch plans to replace its delivery fleet with electric Tesla trucks because they don’t have any dirty, smelly emissions. *** Shucks, I kinda liked the Clydesdales.
5. The mayor of Davenport, Florida was arrested for using the handicap parking permits of deceased people. *** She apologized for her illegal actions, and promised that from now on she’ll be sure to put the dead person in the passenger seat.
6. On this date in history: Dec 15, 1891 – James Naismith invents basketball in Canada. *** Of course, that was the Canadian version, which was played with a ball, a hoop and hockey sticks.
7. On this date in history: Dec 14, 1987 – Chrysler pleads no contest to telling buyers that previously-driven vehicles were new. *** But at least that was progress—a few years earlier they couldn’t even convince customers that the new cars were new.
8. On this date in history: Dec 13, 1961 – Jimmy Dean's “Big Bad John” becomes country music's first million-dollar seller. *** Of course, it helped that every album came with a free pack of sausage.
9. On this date in history: Dec 12, 1946 – The United Nations accepts six city blocks in Manhattan as a gift from John D, Rockefeller Jr. *** Ah yes, who wouldn’t love a nice set of blocks for Christmas?
10. On this date in history: Dec 11, 1936 – King Edward VIII abdicates the English throne to marry American divorcee Wallis Simpson, and the Duke of York becomes king. *** The new king’s first act was to declare this date “Wallis Simpson Appreciation Day.”