News for Week Ending Friday, Feb 9, 2018

1.   Gloria Copeland, one of President Trump’s evangelistic advisors, says that we do not need to get vaccinated against the flu because “Jesus himself” gave us the shots.   ***  She later issued a correction and admitted it only applies to people with the Obamacare Gold Plan.

2.   A former Alaskan Airlines pilot is expected to plead guilty to flying while intoxicated.  ***  Passengers on that flight became concerned when he got on the P.A. system and told some jokes that were actually funny.

3.   According to data from the Federal Highway Commission, 54,000 bridges in the U.S. are in serious need of repair.  ***  In fact, the one between the Democrat and Republican sides of the aisle has become totally unusable.

4.   A Massachusetts man has been arrested for marrying several women from Africa to help them immigrate in exchange for money.   ***   Authorities became suspicious when he was spotted at Cosco buying a 12-pack of engagement rings.

5.   The Massachusetts house once owned by Lizzie Borden is now for sale.  ***  The realtor says it has a very reasonable axing price.

6.   On this date in history:  Feb 9, 1920 – The Joint Rules Commission bans applying foreign substances to baseballs.  ***  All applied substances had to be made in the U.S.A.

7.   On this date in history:  Feb 8, 1802 - Simon Willard patents the banjo clock.   ***   It told you when it was time to play the banjo.

8.   On this date in history:  Feb 7, 1877 – The Guernsey Cattle Club is established in New York City.  ***   However, it was soon disbanded because the cattle just wouldn’t behave themselves.

9.   On this date in history:  Feb 6, 1997 – In England, Diane Blood wins the right to use her dead husband’s sperm.  ***   The judge said, “OK, but no other parts.”

10.  On this date in history:  Feb 5, 1931 – Maxine Dunlap becomes the first women in the U.S. to earn a glider pilot license.  ***  It happened in the middle of a flight, when her engine quit.