1. A man in the Detroit suburb of Westland
caused a 5-car pile-up, then stripped naked and started dancing in the middle
of the street. *** Just another Michigan audition for “America’s Got Talent.”
2. Studies at UCLA have found that excessive
time spent sitting can physically affect certain regions of the brain.
*** Researchers say these results
seem to support common accusations about where some people’s heads are located.
3. Fox News’ Sean Hannity, who was identified
as the third client of pay-off lawyer Michael Cohen, said he only used Mr.
Cohen for real estate
deals. *** For example, keeping someone quiet by offering
them a house.
4. The company that makes Necco Wafers is
going out of business. *** Ah yes, the candy that made all us little Catholic kids expect
that communion wafers would be fruit flavored.
5. Arnold Schwarzenegger is reportedly
recovering nicely from his recent emergency open heart surgery. *** In fact, he has already been asking for a television,
reading material and maid service.
6. On this date in history: April 20, 1981 – The
final episode of the TV show "Soap" is broadcast. *** It was replaced by a spin-off series,
“Rinse.”
7. On this date in history: April 19, 1770 – Captain
James Cook lands in Australia for the first time. *** After seeing a
platypus, a kangaroo and a boomerang, he immediately decided to stop drinking.
8. On this date in history: Apr 18, 1663 – Osman
declares war on Austria. *** Since no one today ever heard of Osman, it’s a safe bet that
Austria won that one.
9. On this date in history: April 17, 1521 – Martin
Luther is excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church. *** Not only is he
barred from receiving the sacraments, but he is also banned from bingo nights,
fish fries and the annual church picnic.
10. On this
date in history: April 16, 1986 – To dispel rumors that he's dead, Moammar Qadhafi appears on
television. *** Yeah, every once in a while Larry King does the same thing.
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