News for Week Ending Friday, Apr 27, 2018

1.   When EPA head Scott Pruitt presented his proposed budget to Congress he was grilled about recent expenditures for a soundproof booth, security, first class travel and other items, but in every case he pinned the blame on his subordinates. ***  In regards to next year’s budget, he said he’s going to need at least one more bus.

2.   David Meade, a self-proclaimed “Christian researcher,” says the Rapture will end the world as we know it by December of this year.  ***   So, without another Christmas, it’s pretty clear why Toys ‘R’ Us went ahead and declared bankruptcy.

3.   Former House Speaker John Boehner has joined the advisory board of a pot company, and says his views on marijuana have “evolved.”   ***   I believe his unique version of evolution will be featured in a new TV show, “The Big Buck Theory.”

4.   This week President Trump and French President Macron planted a tree on the White House lawn.  ***  Then their wives had them trim the hedges and pull weeds in the Rose Garden.

5.   A Brooklyn mail carrier who stashed 17,000 pieces of undelivered mail said he had been “overwhelmed” with the workload but “made sure to deliver the important mail.”   ***   Everything with a centerfold.

6.   On this date in history:  April 27, 1773 – British Parliament passes the Tea Act, which eventually led to the Boston Tea Party.   ***   If it was summertime I wonder if it would have been the Iced Tea Act.

7.   On this date in history:  Apr 26, 1478 – Easter is celebrated for the first time.  ***   With a risen Jesus, Easter bunnies and eggs, I’m pretty sure the holiday was created by a committee.

8.   On this date in history:  Apr 25, 1954 – The U.S. performs an atmospheric nuclear test at Bikini Island.  ***  Wow, talk about leaving tan lines.

9.   On this date in history:  Apr 24, 1524 –Admiral Bonnivet is driven out of Milan by the Duke of Bourbon.  ***  Actually, I don’t think the Duke of Bourbon should have been driving.

10.  On this date in history:  Apr 23, 1991 – The USSR grants republics the right to secede under certain conditions.  ***   First condition: Hell freezes over.