Friday, July 17, 2020

News Humor for Week Ending Friday, Jul 17, 2020


1.   As health officials confirm that PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) can help mitigate the spread of coronavirus, we are all learning that some items can be disruptive, inconvenient and uncomfortable.  ***   The other day I saw a reference to Leonardo DiCaprio’s 1998 movie, “The Man in the Iron Mask,” and my first thought was, “Wow—I bet his ears really hurt.”

2.   Because of Covid concerns, the upcoming Republican National Convention in Jacksonville, Florida might be held outdoors. ***  When democrat Al Gore heard this he said, “Dammit! If Covid hit in when I was nominated back in 1999, I could have been surrounded by TREES!

3.   Britney Spears’ mother, Lynne Spears, has asked the Los Angeles Country Court to increase her involvement in the conservatorship that was established to manage the sizeable financial assets of the troubled Ms. Spears.  ***   In a surprising gesture of goodwill, the singer’s lawyer has granted Lynne Spears complete authority over everything to the right of the decimal point.

4.   Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli, who are still facing charges of fraud and bribery, just sold their Bel Air mansion for $18 million.   ***   Wow—that’s a lot of money; based on the evidence against them, $18 million is enough to get 72 kids accepted at Stanford.

5.   The Kansas City Chiefs negotiated a $503 million deal with quarterback Patrick Mahomes, but to make sure he stays healthy his contract prohibits him from participating in other sports or dangerous activities.   ***  And, in a related move, contracts for the team’s offensive linemen now have a “Covid clause” which states they must not only protect Mr. Mahomes from getting sacked, but they also have to keep the defensive players at least 6 feet away.

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