Friday, April 5, 2013

Friday, April 5, 2013

·         General Motors is recalling some Buick Encores because the steering wheel can fall off.   ***  Of course, that’s a huge problem because it makes it even harder to text and drive.

·         Egyptian authorities arrested a popular comedian for criticizing their president and they warned the U.S. to not get involved in the issue.   ***  Apparently some NBC executives had suggested a prisoner exchange involving Jay Leno.

·         Lindsay Lohan played an April Fool’s Day joke by tweeting that she was pregnant.   ***  This shocked a lot of her close friends, who immediately signed the kid up for therapy.

·         The White House has announced that the President’s 2014 budget will finally be released on April 10th.  Usually the next year’s budget is released in February.  ***  But, President Obama wanted to cross his fingers and wait for a couple more Powerball drawings. 

·         In an interview with George Stephanopoulos, Cardinal Timothy Dolan said the Catholic Church is sometimes out of touch with its followers.  ***  Actually, that’s a good thing.  It’s the touching that usually gets the Church in trouble.

·         Students taking out new loans will find interest rates doubling on July 1st.  ***  Actually, it won’t really have much affect on them.  It just means that after graduation they’ll default on a larger amount.

·         President Obama is taking a lot of heat for allowing Michelle and their two daughters to take a spring break vacation in the Bahamas during the budget crisis.   ***  That’s OK.  I’m sure he’ll feel a lot better once he finds out they paid for the trip by appearing in a “Girls Gone Wild” video.

·         Due to poor financial management many years ago, Dionne Warwick has filed for bankruptcy.   ***  Sadly, now she doesn’t even care where San Jose is because she can’t afford to go there.

·         The White House has received a petition that would require members of Congress to follow the lead of NASCAR drivers and wear the logos of their financial backers.    ***    Actually, it would be a little different.  In the case of NASCAR drivers, the people behind the logos are sponsors.  In the case of Congressmen, they’re owners.

·         Medical researchers have found that cold sores, like those caused by Chlamydia and herpes, can cause a loss of memory.  ***  I think we already knew that.  Every time someone asks their partner where they picked up the cold sore, the answer always is, “I can’t remember.”

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