Friday, April 26, 2013

Friday, April 26, 2013

1.        Shanghai-based Spring Airlines is having its female flight attendants dress up as sexy maids.   ***   I believe that idea was the brainchild of the company’s newest investor, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

2.        Former President George W. Bush says that painting has changed his life, and he is especially proud of his painting of himself in a bathtub.   ***  I guess that’s appropriate for a guy who spent so much time in hot water.

3.        New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg wants to raise the minimum age for buying cigarettes.  ***  Under his new proposal, buyers would have to show a social security check stub, Medicare documents or an AARP membership card.

4.        The First Lutheran Church in Oklahoma City dug up and opened a time capsule that had been buried 100 years ago.  It contained a pair of women’s shoes, a camera...  *** ...and Larry King’s birth certificate.

5.        In a phone call to the Today show, Jenna Bush Hagar, the daughter of former President George Bush, said that in the middle of her baby shower her “water broke.”   ***  How embarrassing is that! ... Oh, I thought she said her “father spoke.”

6.        Playboy model Kendra Wilkinson was taken to a Los Angeles hospital after being involved in car accident, but was released later that day after the examining doctors could find no serious injuries.   ***   But it certainly wasn’t for lack of trying.  (“Hey, I think she broke a fingernail;  let’s keep her overnight for observation.”)

7.        Because most people in Iceland are descendants of common ancestors there’s a big risk of inbreeding, so some college kids there created a new app. Two people hooking up can bump cell phones and if they’re too closely related an “incest prevention alarm” goes off.   ***   I believe there’s a similar in app in West Virginia, but instead of an incest alarm it starts playing wedding bells.

8.        Lance Armstrong just bought a 12,000 square foot house in Texas.   ***  Actually, it was just a cottage, but then he put it on steroids.

9.        In Denver, two people suffered non-life-threatening gunshot wounds at a “420” pro-marijuana rally.   ***   In keeping with the spirit of the event, the 9-1-1 operator responded to the emergency call with “What-ever.”

10.      Reese Witherspoon spent a few hours in an Atlanta jail because she became unruly while her husband was being arrested for DUI.   ***   Stay tuned for her next movie, “Sweet Home in the Slammer.”

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