Friday, July 19, 2013

Friday, July 19, 2013

1.      So far this year, over 30 NFL players have been arrested on various charges.   ***   In fact, many courtrooms are being modified to add space behind the defense table for jugs of Gatorade. 

2.      Charles Foley, the man who invented the game “Twister,” has died at the age of 82.  ***  Funeral plans are not yet finalized, but organizers are looking for six really agile pallbearers.

3.      According to a United Nations report, Mexico is the most obese country in the world.  ***  Hey, forget about Edward Snowden; it looks like the U.S. isn’t the only country worried about embarrassing documents.

4.      The Mattel company says that second quarter sales declined by 24%, primarily due to a decrease in the sales of Barbie dolls.   ***   However, they believe the demand for Barbie will increase as soon as they introduce their new Eliot Spitzer doll.

5.      Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is asking a federal appeals court to overturn his conviction for corruption, bribery and influence peddling, and let him out of prison.  ***  He’s telling the Chicago-based court he’s the only one who can get the Cubs and the White Sox moved up in the standings.

6.      Have you seen that SyFy movie “Sharknado”? It’s about people in the path of a giant tornado that’s full of sharks.  ***  It’s a terrifying scenario.  It would be like finding yourself in a crowd of personal injury lawyers at the scene of an accident.

7.      A study in France has shown that people who retire at a young age are more likely to develop Alzheimer’s.  ***   Basically, researchers observed that a large number of early retirees couldn’t remember where they got that nice gold watch.

8.      Edward Snowden reportedly has secret documents that reveal how the NSA (the National Security Agency) is structured.   ***  The people who would most like to see those documents:  Employees of the NSA.

9.      The company has compiled a list of airports with the worst  departure delays.  ***   Most delayed flight of all time:  Edward Snowden leaving Moscow.

10.    Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer announced major changes in the corporate structure.   ***   For example, the group that developed Windows 8 will now report to the head janitor.

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