1. After millions of people heard a recording of a Comcast representative refusing to honor a customer’s request to have service discontinued, the company issued a formal statement. *** Comcast explained that instead of cutting off service completely, it prefers to provide frequent, temporary loss of service at random times throughout the day.
2. In Washington D.C., several congressmen are considering legislation that would improve compensation and work schedules for part time workers… *** such as congressmen.
3. The FBI has warned that autonomous, self-driving cars could be used for criminal purposes. For example, a fleeing criminal could fire at police while the car drives itself. *** Of course, the chase would be brief because the self-driving police car would be programmed to pull into the next donut shop.
4. Mourners in the Philippines were absolutely stunned when a 3 year old girl woke up at her own funeral. *** It was like the reaction we would have here in the U.S. if suddenly Congress actually did something.
5. According to a study in the medical journal “Pediatrics,” electronic devices such as a laptop computer may be the cause of a painful skin rash. *** Especially if you use it to meet a woman on Craigslist.
6. In a controversial move, a library in Singapore has pulled a children’s book about gay penguins. The author says he wrote the story as an example of alternate life styles. *** But I think he went too far when he claimed that “March of the Penquins” was really a gay pride parade.
7. Officials closed part of I-75 near Detroit after a truck dropped its load of rocks all over the road. *** However, the highway was immediately re-opened once they realized it was just Governor Snyder’s low-cost approach to filling all the potholes.
8. Officials are considering abuse charges against the parents of a 12 year old Detroit boy who was reported missing and then eventually found in the family’s basement. *** The couple would be charged under a new federal law that makes it illegal to keep anyone in Detroit against their will.
9. Steven Spielberg posed like a hunter with a movie prop of a dead dinosaur, and many people seeing the photo thought he really shot it. *** Of course, that’s ridiculous. The last person to actually shoot a real dinosaur was Larry King.
10. Keith Mularski, the FBI’s top expert in cybercrime, was just selling discount furniture before he joined the bureau in 1998. He is reportedly very successful in infiltrating criminal organizations online and befriending key leaders. *** He wins them over by giving them a three-piece genuine leather living room set plus a coffee table, two end tables and a flat screen TV.